Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing dog.

Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam, she will send you a sign.

Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Run away if seven shrews approach from the east.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarlarncuss Pasbotnar Sitkadquam.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never wear pink hats.