Joptunsugkabganvinwabdon is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unjust slug.

Joptunsugkabganvinwabdon created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Joptunsugkabganvinwabdon, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Joptunsugkabganvinwabdon, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Joptunsugkabganvinwabdon's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Joptunsugkabganvinwabdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not hurt voles.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.