Zakshavquag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic otter.

Zakshavquag created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakshavquag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zakshavquag, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zakshavquag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Zakshavquag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Zakshavquag.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Zakshavquag on top of all buildings.

5. You must love Zakshavquag.