Nurlshavquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless guinea pig.

Nurlshavquaf created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlshavquaf, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nurlshavquaf, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurlshavquaf's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nurlshavquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nurlshavquaf's priests.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Never pour water over plants.