Witnurllan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, confident ant.

Witnurllan created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witnurllan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Witnurllan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Witnurllan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Witnurllan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never pour water over plants.