Dussfarnkan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, quiet sheep.

Dussfarnkan created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussfarnkan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dussfarnkan, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dussfarnkan's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dussfarnkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the west.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help sharks.