Poptarpfon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty bear.

Poptarpfon created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Poptarpfon, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Poptarpfon, it will be very unhappy.

Poptarpfon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Poptarpfon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. You must pray to Poptarpfon three times a day.

5. Do not chop down trees.