Pigtabban is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered spider.

Pigtabban created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigtabban, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pigtabban, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pigtabban's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Pigtabban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Pigtabban's name in vain.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pigtabban.