Pakdavomt is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent bear.

Pakdavomt created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pakdavomt, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pakdavomt, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pakdavomt's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Pakdavomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never wear purple corsets.

3. Always help sick rats.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never talk about dolphins.