Talfetcen is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful swan.

Talfetcen created an atom seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talfetcen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Talfetcen, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Talfetcen's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Talfetcen's Holy Commandments

1. Talfetcen loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never paint your face violet.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Talfetcen.

5. Always wear black.