Omtnigwad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, charitable wasp.

Omtnigwad created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtnigwad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Omtnigwad, he will turn you into a slug.

Omtnigwad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Omtnigwad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan ants, for they are unholy.

2. Omtnigwad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help geese in need.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.