Nakvinbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing badger.

Nakvinbiss created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nakvinbiss, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nakvinbiss, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nakvinbiss' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nakvinbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Fast once a month.