Rowsanveenzogcip is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, annoying unicorn.

Rowsanveenzogcip created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowsanveenzogcip, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rowsanveenzogcip, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Rowsanveenzogcip's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Rowsanveenzogcip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.