Dubtarfas is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, compassionate mongoose.

Dubtarfas created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubtarfas, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dubtarfas, she will turn you into a mole.

Dubtarfas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dubtarfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.