Gundussced is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, calm bat.

Gundussced created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Gundussced, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gundussced, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gundussced's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gundussced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gundussced.

4. You must love Gundussced.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.