Tifquillcad is a god.

It takes the form of a small, intelligent dove.

Tifquillcad created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Tifquillcad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tifquillcad, it will turn you into a frog.

Tifquillcad's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tifquillcad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four frogs approach from the north.

2. Hide from black otters for they are unholy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.