Tifflatbet Kansitcem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome manatee.

Tifflatbet Kansitcem created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Tifflatbet Kansitcem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tifflatbet Kansitcem, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tifflatbet Kansitcem's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tifflatbet Kansitcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Tifflatbet Kansitcem loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tifflatbet Kansitcem.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.