Bonbedzig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy snake.

Bonbedzig created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonbedzig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonbedzig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bonbedzig's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bonbedzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not take Bonbedzig's name in vain.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.