Sawstikfoss Vinpantin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective seal.

Sawstikfoss Vinpantin created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sawstikfoss Vinpantin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sawstikfoss Vinpantin, he will turn you into a duck.

Sawstikfoss Vinpantin's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sawstikfoss Vinpantin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine badgers approach from the east.

2. Always help swans.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.