Bonfunvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ruthless lobster.

Bonfunvin created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Bonfunvin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonfunvin, he will remove you from existence.

Bonfunvin's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bonfunvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide from green swans for they are unholy.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.