Dissbastdam Naktapkimsandquart is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, moody aardvark.

Dissbastdam Naktapkimsandquart created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissbastdam Naktapkimsandquart, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dissbastdam Naktapkimsandquart, he will ignore you.

Dissbastdam Naktapkimsandquart's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Dissbastdam Naktapkimsandquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt tortoises.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.