Tonkjiglen is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-confident gerbil.

Tonkjiglen created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkjiglen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tonkjiglen, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tonkjiglen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tonkjiglen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. Never feed pineapples to dogs while wearing yellow scarves.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.