Pasartcat is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, amazing scorpion.

Pasartcat created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasartcat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pasartcat, he will destroy your home solar system.

Pasartcat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Pasartcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Hide if nine rats approach from the south.

5. Do not stand on grass.