Kintoffasrul is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unjust manatee.

Kintoffasrul created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kintoffasrul, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kintoffasrul, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kintoffasrul's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kintoffasrul's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not take Kintoffasrul's name in vain.

5. Never look in ponds.