Begyattzig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, staggering parrot.

Begyattzig created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begyattzig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Begyattzig, he will be mildly annoyed.

Begyattzig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Begyattzig's Holy Commandments

1. Begyattzig loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about planets.