Narcubmot is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, uncaring narwhal.

Narcubmot created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Narcubmot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Narcubmot, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Narcubmot's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Narcubmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near capybaras.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about bananas.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Narcubmot.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.