Talkapfar is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, two-faced wyrm.

Talkapfar created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talkapfar, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Talkapfar, he will turn you into a frog.

Talkapfar's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Talkapfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Whales are not to be trusted.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Never think about asteroids.