Lagmegarm is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, overgenerous weasel.

Lagmegarm created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagmegarm, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lagmegarm, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lagmegarm's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Lagmegarm's Holy Commandments

1. Lagmegarm loves moths, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Lagmegarm on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.