Govnillzig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, caring lobster.

Govnillzig created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govnillzig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Govnillzig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Govnillzig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Govnillzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to dogs while wearing mauve shoes.

2. Always help mites.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Govnillzig.

5. Do not shave your hands.