Vonsterved is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, irritating octopus.

Vonsterved created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonsterved, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonsterved, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vonsterved's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Vonsterved's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not cook food in pots.