Vilwigfadfon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, temperamental fish.

Vilwigfadfon created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilwigfadfon, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vilwigfadfon, she will throw large rocks at you.

Vilwigfadfon's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vilwigfadfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.