Barntigboss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring fish.

Barntigboss created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Barntigboss, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Barntigboss, it will send minions to preach to you.

Barntigboss' most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Barntigboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never skip in the presence of frogs.

5. Always help nematodes in need.