Vonkfadfadxemmet is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, merciful narwhal.

Vonkfadfadxemmet created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfadfadxemmet, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vonkfadfadxemmet, it will turn you into a dog.

Vonkfadfadxemmet's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vonkfadfadxemmet's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vonkfadfadxemmet first in all things.

2. You must love Vonkfadfadxemmet.

3. Always help sick shrews.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Vonkfadfadxemmet on top of important buildings.

5. Always look after injured swans.