Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, idiotic eagle.

Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun, she will turn you into a tree.

Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect six tin sculptures of Bedpagyog Wabshavlad Getwanbun on top of important buildings.