Kinmighun is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, smart porpoise.

Kinmighun created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinmighun, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kinmighun, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kinmighun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kinmighun's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think ill of sick birds.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.