Narltailbimfid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, moody snail.

Narltailbimfid created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narltailbimfid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Narltailbimfid, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Narltailbimfid's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Narltailbimfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Always help snakes.

3. Do not take Narltailbimfid's name in vain.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray immersed in water.