Tarcemhigmip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent goose.

Tarcemhigmip created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarcemhigmip, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarcemhigmip, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Tarcemhigmip's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tarcemhigmip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Tarcemhigmip on top of all buildings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never wear red coats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.