Nanvonkart is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, contented seal.

Nanvonkart created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanvonkart, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nanvonkart, he will torture you forever.

Nanvonkart's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nanvonkart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never sing in the presence of mice.

4. You must pray to Nanvonkart four times a day.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.