Loopvinhun Narlhimzod is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, weak troll.

Loopvinhun Narlhimzod created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvinhun Narlhimzod, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Loopvinhun Narlhimzod, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Loopvinhun Narlhimzod's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Loopvinhun Narlhimzod's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think ill of sick nematodes.