Flattamgab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tiresome hedgehog.

Flattamgab created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flattamgab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flattamgab, he will laugh at you.

Flattamgab's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Flattamgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide if five otters approach from the south.

5. Never wear violet shirts.