Kembarngub is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, moody lobster.

Kembarngub created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kembarngub, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kembarngub, it will throw large rocks at you.

Kembarngub's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kembarngub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured horses.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Kembarngub must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.