Yattzakkik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful squid.

Yattzakkik created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yattzakkik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yattzakkik, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yattzakkik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yattzakkik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three otters approach from the east.

2. Worship no other gods but Yattzakkik.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.