Lenflowjon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful tapir.

Lenflowjon created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Lenflowjon, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lenflowjon, she will turn you into a puffin.

Lenflowjon's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Lenflowjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. You must pray to Lenflowjon six times a day.

4. Never feed peas to gulls while wearing cyan stockings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.