Rullmobpark is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent aardvark.

Rullmobpark created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Rullmobpark, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rullmobpark, he will turn you into a goat.

Rullmobpark's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Rullmobpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Rullmobpark loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. You must pray to Rullmobpark six times a day.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rullmobpark.