Wabkembab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, almighty snake.

Wabkembab created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabkembab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wabkembab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wabkembab's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Wabkembab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never wear cyan jumpers.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never go into pink rooms.