Bonknigont Tinmutnell is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, vain cobra.

Bonknigont Tinmutnell created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonknigont Tinmutnell, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonknigont Tinmutnell, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bonknigont Tinmutnell's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bonknigont Tinmutnell's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bonknigont Tinmutnell on top of all buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonknigont Tinmutnell.

5. Bonknigont Tinmutnell loves dogs, so they must be respected.