Siggovlag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, flying swallow.

Siggovlag created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Siggovlag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Siggovlag, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Siggovlag's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Siggovlag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Siggovlag.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never eat bark.