Tonbigjen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous gnu.

Tonbigjen created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Tonbigjen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tonbigjen, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tonbigjen's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tonbigjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tonbigjen.

3. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Tonbigjen on top of important buildings.

4. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat green fruit.