Rulbenjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, self-assured swallow.

Rulbenjen created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulbenjen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rulbenjen, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rulbenjen's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Rulbenjen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Put Rulbenjen first in all things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not commit murder.