Futbenbam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic naga.

Futbenbam created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futbenbam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Futbenbam, she will cry a lot.

Futbenbam's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Futbenbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Worship no other gods but Futbenbam.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.